有什麼短篇英語小說
A. 介紹幾部經典英文短篇小說
（少年維特的煩惱)，我正在看，可能不算短篇吧。但是它的英文我覺得還比較容易好理解。
B. 高中英語短篇小說求推薦
要是想讀名著的話，牛津書蟲系列比較適合英語學習，是名著的簡化版本，容易理解，也能廣泛涉獵。都是雙語的。
以下是書目，可以挑些合適的來讀：
第四級：1500生詞量，適合初三學生
上冊5本：
1、《巴斯克維爾獵犬》
2、《不平靜的墳墓》
3、《三怪客泛舟記》
4、《三十九級台階》
5、《小婦人》
下冊6本：
1、《黑駿馬》
2、《織工馬南》
3、《雙城記》
4、《格列佛游記》
5、《金銀島》
6、《化身博士》
第五級：2000生詞量，適合高一學生，共4本。
1、《遠大前程》
2、《大衛•科波菲爾》
3、《呼嘯山莊》
4、《遠離塵囂》
第六級：2300生詞量，適合高二、高三學生，共4本
1、《簡•愛》
2、《霧都孤兒》
3、《傲慢與偏見》
4、《苔絲》
如果讀原著小說，莫泊桑 歐亨利 契科夫 的都挺好，但是有生僻詞。
C. 英語小說推薦
英語小說推薦有《世界的最後一晚》和《幸福結局》
1、《世界的最後一晚》The Last Night of the Worldby 雷·布萊伯利Ray Bradbury
內容簡介：布萊伯利最有名的是他的《華氏451度》(Fahrenheit 451)，這本書是有關焚書的反烏托邦(dystopian)故事。但書迷們對他的短篇小說應該也很熟悉，比如《紋身人》(The Illustrated Man)和《火星紀事》(The Martian Chronicles)。
阿特伍德，也就是最近大熱的《使女的故事》的作者，在這篇短小精悍的小說中盡情炫耀了一把自己標志性的諷刺手法，帶領讀者體驗了一對虛構夫婦約翰和瑪麗可能經歷的各種不同結局。溫馨提示：這些結局並沒有那麼幸福。
D. 有什麼英語短篇小說推薦
1. 「A Good Man is Hard to Find,」 Flannery O』Connor
Few short stories have stuck with us as much as this one, which is probably O'Connor's most famous work — and with good reason. The Misfit is one of the most alarming serial killers we've ever met, all the more so for his politeness, and the story』s moral is so striking and terrifying that — whether you subscribe to the religious undertones or not — a reader is likely to finish and begin to reexamine their entire existence. Or at least we did, the first time we read it.
《好人難尋》這篇小說是奧康納最為著名的作品，很少有其他短篇小說能像這篇一樣給我們帶來震撼。無論你是否能明了宗教般的潛在含義，看完這篇小說讀者都會開始或是結束對存在的檢視。
2. 「The School,」 Donald Barthelme
This story is very short, but pretty much perfect in every way. Though Barthelme is known for his playful, post modern style, we admire him for his ability to shape a world so clearly from so few words, chosen expertly. Barthelme never over explains, never uses one syllable too many, but effortlessly leads the reader right where he wants her to be. It's funny, it's absurdist, it's sad, it's enormous even in its smallness. It may be this writer』s favorite story of all time. You should read it.
這篇小說很短，但是堪稱完美。巴塞爾姆的優秀就在於他能用精選的極少幾個文字就為我們敘述了一個世界。他很少過多地解釋，就把讀者帶到了他想要你去地方。
3. 「In The Penal Colony,」 Franz Kafka
Kafka called this one his「dirty story,」and thought it imperfect, but it's one of our favorites of his (though we also recommend 「The Hunger Artist」and「A Country Doctor」). It's so obviously a story about writing, in some ultimate way — a machine punishes its victims by writing on them over and over until their bodies give out — but its as if, while the body is the source of every problem in the tale, every weakness, it is also the only place where true knowledge can be translated.
卡夫卡稱自己的這篇小說是一個「很臟的故事」，認為並不完美，但是這個短篇確實我們的最愛之一。在小說中，我們可以體會到，身體是一切問題和弱點的根源，但身體也是唯一能轉化真知的地方。
4. 「Signs and Symbols,」Vladimir Nabokov
Another short one, we revere this story for its ability to turn every tiny detail into a portentous disaster, not to mention the fact that it's penned in Nabokov's effortlessly gorgeous, silvery prose. An old Jewish couple goes to visit their son in the mental hospital, only to be turned away because he has attempted to kill himself. And that's it, really. They go home and look though a photo album, eat some jam. The phonerings. But the whole thing is, perhaps, both a comment on the nature of insanity and the nature of the short story itself, with all its rules and strangeness and banality. And all its symbols, of course.
我們喜歡這篇小說的原因就在於，這個故事有能力把每個細微的細節瞬間變為一場災難，而Nabokov在寫這篇小說用的是輕松華麗水銀瀉地般的散文風格。
5. 「Gooseberries,」 Anton Chekhov
Chekhov's stories are indisputably among the greats, and this one, written rather late, is one of our favorites. Chekhov probes at both the frailty and the worth of humanity, not to mention the natureof life, both for the fortunate and the unfortunate. But like most of Chekhov's stories, there's no clear moral, there's no obvious takeaway. Some men sit around and discuss their thoughts, and we listen, mulling over the subtleties for ourselves.
契科夫的小說無疑是最偉大的作品之一，而這篇是我們的最愛。這篇小說像他的其他小說一樣，沒有清晰的道德標准，我們只是靜靜地看著幾個人圍坐著，討論他們的思想。
6. 「Sea Oak,」 George Saunders
「Sea Oak」 is Saunders's favorite of his own stories, we've heard, so because we find it so hard to choose among them, we've included it here on his own recommendation. Absurdist and satirical, and including at least one zombie shouting at her housemates to get laid, it's a weird one. But it's also concerned with placelessness, with family, with poverty, and like all of Saunders's stories, has a good, thumping heart under all that darkness and fun-poking.
這部小說是桑德斯最為喜愛的一步短篇，這也是我們聽說的。因為我們很難做出選擇，因此就把他自己的推介放在了這里。這部小說充滿了荒誕和諷刺，但是也關心家庭和貧窮等問題。像他的其他小說一樣，在黑暗和取笑中，也暗含著美好和快樂。
7. 「The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas,」 Ursula K. LeGuin
LeGuin's parabolic tale, which won the Hugo Award for best short story in 1974, is a weird, spacious story about a city that seems to be a utopia — except for its one flaw, the single child that must always be kept in darkness and wretched misery so that the others may all live happily. Most of the citizens eventually accept this, but some do not, and silently leave the city, vanishing into the world around. Strange but pointed, Le Guin is a master of her genre.
勒古這部寓言般的短篇小說獲得過1974年的「雨果獎」，是關於一個類似烏托邦的城市的荒誕又宏大的故事。
8. 「The Veldt,」 Ray Bradbury
This tale, from one of the greatest science fiction writers in history, is deliciously wicked. Though it was written in 1950, this kind of story — of children driven mad by want, of technology turning on its masters — will never get old. Until technology actually turns on us, that is. Then we probably won't want to hear about it.
布萊伯利作為歷史上最富盛名的科幻小說家，這篇小說也是通過精心編寫的。
9. 「The Bear Came Over the Mountain,」 Alice Munro
The undisputed queen of the short story, Alice Munro』s work is stark and often heartbreakingly raw, and this story of memory loss and the aching tenderness of human interaction is no different. Fun fact: this story was adapted into the film 「Away from Her」, starring Julie Christie and Gordon Pinsent.
門羅是毫無爭議的短篇小說女王，她的作品有一種朴實風格，常常帶著心跳般的粗獷，這篇關於喪失記憶以及人類互動中的痛苦和柔弱的小說也不例外。
10. 「The Nose,」 Nikolai Gogol
Gogol might be the oldest writer on this list, but he』s also one of the weirdest — in a good way. Nabokov once wrote, 「In Gogol…the absurd central character belongs to the absurd world around him but, pathetically and tragically, attempts to struggle out of it into the world of humans — and dies in despair.」 What else can an absurd noseless man do, after all?
果戈里應該是這個書單上最久遠的作家了，但是他也是最荒誕的小說家之一。納博科夫曾近這樣寫道：「在果戈里的作品中，荒誕的人物屬於他周圍荒誕的世界，但是卻可憐兮兮且悲慘地要逃離他的世界，最終死於絕望」。
E. 適合初學者看的英文小說
一、Charlie and the Chocolate Factory《查理和他的克工廠》
一本有趣好看而充滿想像力的童話小說，講述了窮孩子查理幸運拿到可以進入巧克力工廠參觀的金券後，一系列的奇遇。 在書中可以看到，小查理和他的家裡人過的生活雖然貧窮，可他們深深地懂得愛，這維持了他們除生活外的一切滿足感，看完如果意猶未盡，還可以看看同名電影。
二、The wonderful wizard of Oz《綠野仙蹤》
故事講述了小蘿莉多蘿西被大風吹到一個奇異國度(奧茲國)的奇遇記。這個可愛的小故事里有一個善良的小蘿莉，一個稻草人，一個鐵皮機器人與一個獅子。短小精悍，沒什麼難度，易讀易懂，卻又引人入勝。
三、Flipped《怦然心動》
這本便是同名電影的原著小說，它講述了一個單純美好的故事，裡面有美好的田園風光和校園生活，還有屬於布萊斯和朱莉的故事。小說要比電影有意思很多，相信你看的時候一定會笑出聲來。敘述以男孩和女孩視角的章節交錯進行，畫面感很強。
四、Hyperbole and a Half- Allie Brosh我幼稚的時候好有范
比爾蓋茨2015年的推薦書單里就有這本奇特的小書，他說道：你會希望小說更長，因為這些故事很有趣，很睿智。它故事短小，畫風奇特，非常適合於碎片時間閱讀。
五、The little word of Liz Climo你今天真好看
這本畫風萌系、溫暖的治癒系，收錄了莉茲克里莫150多張逗趣漫畫和小說情節。畫中的故事簡單卻動人，圍繞著各種萌萌的小動物展開，有兔子，蜥蜴，棕熊，企鵝等。簡短有趣的句子配上可愛清新的漫畫，很快就可以看完。
F. 英語短篇小說
經典英語短篇小說推薦如下：
1、密西西比河上的馬戲團男孩 The Circus Boys On the M
簡介： 本書是1910-1920出版的一套兒童系列叢書中的一本，講述了兩個男孩離家加入馬戲團的故事。達靈頓先生用大師之筆，向我們描繪了馬戲團生活的真實畫面。...
2、Around the World in Seventy-Two Days
In 1888, Bly suggested to her editor at the New York World that she take a trip around the world, attempting to turn the fictional Around the World in Eighty Days into fact for the first time. A year later, at 9:40 a.m. on November 14, 1889...
3、The Aspern Papers
簡介： With a decaying Venetian villa as a backdrop, an anonymous narrator relates his obsessive quest for the personal documents of a deceased Romantic poet, one Jeffrey Aspern. Led by his mission into increasingly unscrupulous behavior, he is ul...
4、At the Back of the North Wind
There was once a little boy named Diamond and he slept in a low room over a coach house. In fact, his room was just a loft where they kept hay and straw and oats for the horses. Little Diamonds father was a coachman and he had named his boy..
G. 英國的短篇小說，有哪些值得推薦
《盲人國》《信號員》這兩部是我讀過的，個人感覺寫的非常不錯，而且都很有深意，可以讓我們體驗出裡面的道理和一些感悟，至於其他的一些，我讀的很少，不過這兩部我真心推薦給你，您可以試著讀一下看看！
H. 推薦一些英文短篇小說
相信你會喜歡這篇短小的小說的。
Appointment With Love －－By Sulamith Ish-Kishor
Six minutes to six, said the great round clock over the information booth in Grand Central Station. The tall young Army lieutenant who had just come from the direction of the tracks lifted his sunburned face, and his eyes narrowed to note the exact time. His heart was pounding with a beat that shocked him because he could not control it. In six minutes, he would see the woman who had filled such a special place in his life for the past 13 months, the woman he had never seen, yet whose written words had been with him and sustained him unfailingly.
He placed himself as close as he could to the information booth, just beyond the ring of people besieging the clerks...
Lieutenant Blandford remembered one night in particular, the worst of the fighting, when his plane had been caught in the midst of a pack of Zeros. He had seen the grinning face of one of the enemy pilots.
In one of his letters, he had confessed to her that he often felt fear, and only a few days before this battle, he had received her answer: "Of course you fear...all brave men do. Didn't King David know fear? That's why he wrote the 23rd Psalm. Next time you doubt yourself, I want you to hear my voice reciting to you: 'Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for Thou art with me.'" And he had remembered; he had heard her imagined voice, and it had renewed his strength and skill.
Now he was going to hear her real voice. Four minutes to six. His face grew sharp.
Under the immense, starred roof, people were walking fast, like threads of color being woven into a gray web. A girl passed close to him, and Lieutenant Blandford started. She was wearing a red flower in her suit lapel, but it was a crimson sweet pea, not the little red rose they had agreed upon. Besides, this girl was too young, about 18, whereas Hollis Meynell had frankly told him she was 30. "Well, what of it?" he had answered. "I'm 32." He was 29.
His mind went back to that book - the book the Lord Himself must have put into his hands out of the hundreds of Army library books sent to the Florida training camp. Of Human Bondage, it was; and throughout the book were notes in a woman's writing. He had always hated that writing-in habit, but these remarks were different. He had never believed that a woman could see into a man's heart so tenderly, so understandingly. Her name was on the bookplate: Hollis Meynell. He had got hold of a New York City telephone book and found her address. He had written, she had answered. Next day he had been shipped out, but they had gone on writing.
For 13 months, she had faithfully replied, and more than replied. When his letters did not arrive she wrote anyway, and now he believed he loved her, and she loved him.
But she had refused all his pleas to send him her photograph. That seemed rather bad, of course. But she had explained: "If your feeling for me has any reality, any honest basis, what I look like won't matter. Suppose I'm beautiful. I'd always be haunted by the feeling that you had been taking a chance on just that, and that kind of love would disgust me. Suppose I'm plain (and you must admit that this is more likely). Then I'd always fear that you were going on writing to me only because you were lonely and had no one else. No, don't ask for my picture. When you come to New York, you shall see me and then you shall make your decision. Remember, both of us are free to stop or to go on after that - whichever we choose..."
One minute to six - Lieutenant Blandford's heart leaped higher than his plane had ever done.
A young woman was coming toward him. Her figure was long and slim; her blond hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears. Her eyes were blue as flowers, her lips and chin had a gentle firmness. In her pale green suit, she was like springtime come alive.
He started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was wearing no rose, and as he moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips.
"Going my way, soldier?" she murmured.
Uncontrollably, he made one step closer to her. Then he saw Hollis Meynell.
She was standing almost directly behind the girl, a woman well past 40, her graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump; her thick-ankled feet were thrust into low-heeled shoes. But she wore a red rose in the rumpled lapel of her brown coat.
The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away.
Blandford felt as though he were being split in two, so keen was his desire to follow the girl, yet so deep was his longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned and upheld his own; and there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible; he could see that now. Her gray eyes had a warm, kindly twinkle.
Lieutenant Blandford did not hesitate. His fingers gripped the small worn, blue leather of Of Human Bondage, which was to identify him to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even rarer than love - a friendship for which he had been and must ever be grateful.
He squared his broad shoulders, saluted and held the book out toward the woman, although even while he spoke he felt shocked by the bitterness of his disappointment.
"I'm Lieutenant John Blandford, and you - you are Miss Meynell. I'm so glad you could meet me. May...may I take you to dinner?"
The woman's face broadened in a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is all about, son," she answered. "That young lady in the green suit - the one who just went by - begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said that if you asked me to go out with you, I should tell you that she's waiting for you in that big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of a test. I've got two boys with Uncle Sam myself, so I didn't mind to oblige you."
I. 經典好看的英文小說推薦9本 經典好看的英文小說有哪些
1、《芒果街上的小屋》The House on Mango Street：一個在寫作中追求現實與熱愛的故事。作者桑德拉·希斯內羅絲以日記式的斷想、形諸真實的稚嫩少女文字，記錄了一個居住在拉美貧民社區芒果街上的女孩蛻變為女人的過程。生活的點點滴滴，一朵雲彩、一隻小狗、一次傷心、一次悸動將回憶如詩般鋪開。
2、《本傑明·巴頓奇事》The Curious Case of Benjamin Button：翻轉人生，是怎樣一種體驗？一個出生就80歲的「嬰兒」本傑明·巴頓，隨著時間流逝日漸年輕，不平凡的一生就此展開。作者菲茨傑拉德是20世紀最偉大的美國作家之一，他以奇妙的角度講述了本傑明的倒放人生，帶我們走近一個奇幻世界。
3、《哈利·波特》全集Harry Potter：《哈利·波特》和作者羅琳有多經典就不需要大貝多說了吧！這一魔幻文學系列小說寫於1997～2007年，講述了了失去雙親的年輕巫師哈利·波特在霍格沃茨魔法學校的學習生活和冒險故事。
4、《流浪地球》The Wandering Earth：太陽即將毀滅，人類不得不在地球上建造推進器，靠其動力使地球飛出太陽系，重新尋找適宜生存的家園，無論結果如何，人類的勇氣和堅毅，都被鐫刻在星空下。
5、《心靈奇旅》Soul：音樂老師喬·加德納意外失足跌落，重傷昏迷，瀕死之際來到了「生之來處」，在那裡，新生靈魂將被分配各種性格，然後通過傳送門降生地球。喬獲得的卻是一個憤世嫉俗的靈魂「22號」。一次陰差陽錯的經歷，喬與「22」命運相連，他們回到地球上一起體驗了一段奇妙的生命旅程。讀下去，你會在不經意間收獲驚喜與感動。
6、《月亮和六便士》The Moon and Sixpence：它以法國印象派畫家保羅·高更的生平為素材，描述了一個平凡的證券經紀人人思特里克蘭德，為了追求藝術絕棄了旁人看來優裕美滿的生活，奔赴塔希提島用畫筆譜寫出自己光輝燦爛的生命的故事。
7、《歸來記》The Return of Sherlock Holmes：這本書是阿瑟·柯南·道爾所著短篇小說集，應讀者強烈要求而寫成，共收錄了福爾摩斯所經歷的十三次探案。傳奇神探福爾摩斯起死回生，由《空屋》一案重返人間。《歸來記》中，歷劫歸來後的福爾摩斯和華生再度攜手合作，在神秘案件中抽絲剝繭，探得真相。
8、《傲慢與偏見》Pride and Prejudice：這本書講述了「傲慢先生和偏見小姐」的故事，它被譽為全世界最偉大的愛情小說之一。伊麗莎白在舞會上認識了達西，但是耳聞他為人傲慢，一直對他心生排斥。
9、《神秘島》The Mysterious Island：五個被困的北方人偶然用氣球逃脫，被風暴吹落在了荒島上。面對荒島上生存的困境，他們想要努力創造幸福的生活……在故事的最後，他們究竟能否離開這座神秘島，回到故鄉？
J. 英語短篇小說：Running For Governor by Mark Twain
馬克吐溫的這部小說Running For Governor發表於1870年紐約州長選舉之後，最初發表在文學雜志《銀河》(Galaxy)上。小說嘲諷美國競選的虛偽性，馬克·吐溫想像自己被提名為獨立候選人參加紐約州長選舉，卻遭到若干匿名攻擊者一連串捏造的人身攻擊。該小說在中國長期被收入中學語文教材。
馬克·吐溫的短篇小說《競選州長》講述了主人公“我”因為代表獨立黨與另外兩名其他黨派的候選人一起競選紐約州州長，而被誣陷成一個擁有如“偽證犯”、“小偷”、“拐屍犯”、“酒瘋子”、“賄賂犯”和“賄賂陪審員的人”等各種惡名的罪人的過程。“我”作為一個正人君子，原本以為相對於惡名昭著的兩位對手來說，自身最大的優勢就是“好名聲”，可對手施展種種卑鄙伎倆，不斷製造各種荒誕謠言，誹謗誣告“我”，最終導致莫名其妙地背負一身罪名的“我”被迫退出競選。小說抓住被收買的資產階級報刊專事造謠誹謗這一典型特徵，用誇張手法挖苦了資產階級的“民主選舉”。
作者介紹：
馬克·吐溫(Mark Twain)，美國幽默大師、小說家、著名演說家、傑出的作家、和著名記者，真實姓名是薩繆爾·蘭亨·克萊門。“馬克·吐溫”是他的筆名，原是密西西比河水手使用的表示在航道上所測水的深度的術語。
馬克·吐溫12歲團鎮時，父親去世，他只好停學，到工廠當小工。後來他又換了不少職業，曾做過密西西比河的領航員、礦工及新聞記者工作。檔或散漸漸地著手寫一些有趣的小品，開始了自己的寫作生涯。
馬克·吐溫一生寫了大量作品，題材涉及小說、劇本、散文、詩歌等各方面。從內容上說，他的作品批判了不合理現象或人性的丑惡之處，表達了這位當過排字工人和水手的作家強烈的行氏正義感和對普通人民的關心;從風格上說，專家們和一般讀者都認為，幽默和諷刺是他的寫作特點。
馬克·吐溫是美國批判現實主義文學的奠基人，他的主要作品已大多有中文譯本。他經歷了美國從初期資本主義到帝國主義的發展過程，其思想和創作也表現為從輕快調笑到辛辣諷刺再到悲觀厭世的發展階段，前期以辛辣的諷刺見長，到了後期語言更為暴露激烈。被譽為“美國文學史上的林肯”。他於1910年4月21日去世，享年七十五歲，安葬於紐約州艾瑪拉。
小說原文：
A few months ago I was nominated for Governor of the great state of New York, to run against Mr. John T. Smith and Mr. Blank J. Blank on an independent ticket. I somehow felt that I had one prominent advantage over these gentlemen, and that was--good character. It was easy to see by the newspapers that if ever they had known what it was to bear a good name, that time had gone by. It was plain that in these latter years they had become familiar with all manner of shameful crimes. But at the verymoment that I was exalting my advantage and joying in it in secret, there was a muddy undercurrent of discomfort "riling" the deeps of my happiness, and that was--the having to hear my name bandied about in familiar connection with those of such people. I grew more and more disturbed. Finally I wrote my grandmother about it. Her answer came quick and sharp. She said:
You have never done one single thing in all your life to be ashamed of--not one. Look at the newspapers--look at them and comprehend what sort of characters Messrs. Smith and Blank are, and then see if you are willing to lower yourself to their level and enter a public canvass with them.
It was my very thought! I did not sleep a single moment that night. But, after all, I could not recede.
I was fully committed, and must go on with the fight. As I was looking listlessly over the papers at breakfast I came across this paragraph, and I may truly say I never was so confounded before.
PERJURY.--Perhaps, now that Mr. Mark Twain is before the people as a candidate for Governor, he will condescend to explain how he came to be convicted of perjury by thirty-four witnesses in Wakawak, Cochin China, in 1863, the intent of which perjury being to rob a poor native widow and her helpless family of a meager plantain-patch, their only stay and support in their bereavement and desolation. Mr. Twain owes it to himself, as well as to the great people whose suffrages he asks, to clear thismatter up. Will he do it?
I thought I should burst with amazement! Such a cruel, heartless charge! I never had seen Cochin China! I never had heard of Wakawak! I didn't know a plantain-patch from a kangaroo! I did not know what to do. I was crazed and helpless. I let the day slip away without doing anything at all. The next morning the same paper had this--nothing more:
SIGNIFICANT.--Mr. Twain, it will be observed, is suggestively silent about the Cochin China perjury.
[Mem.--During the rest of the campaign this paper never referred to me in any other way than as "the infamous perjurer Twain."]
Next came the Gazette, with this:
WANTED TO KNOW.--Will the new candidate for Governor deign to explain to certain of his fellow-citizens (who are suffering to vote for him!) the little circumstance of his cabin-mates in Montana losing small valuables from time to time, until at last, these things having been invariably found on Mr. Twain's person or in his "trunk" (newspaper he rolled his traps in), they felt compelled to give him a friendly admonition for his own good, and so tarred and feathered him, and rode him on a rail; and then advised him to leave a permanent vacuum in the place he usually occupied in the camp. Will he do this?
Could anything be more deliberately malicious than that? For I never was in Montana in my life.
[After this, this journal customarily spoke of me as, "Twain, the Montana Thief."]
I got to picking up papers apprehensively--much as one would lift a desired blanket which he had some idea might have a rattlesnake under it. One day this met my eye:
THE LIE NAILED.--By the sworn affidavits of Michael O'Flanagan, Esq., of the Five Points, and Mr. Snub Rafferty and Mr. Catty Mulligan, of Water Street, it is established that Mr. Mark Twain's vile statement that the lamented grandfather of our noble standard- bearer, Blank J. Blank, was hanged for highway robbery, is a brutal and gratuitous LIE, without a shadow of foundation in fact. It is disheartening to virtuous men to see such shameful means resorted to to achieve political success as the attacking of the dead in their graves, and defiling their honored names with slander. When we think of the anguish this miserable falsehood must cause the innocent relatives and friends of the deceased, we are almost driven to incite an outraged and insulted public to summary and unlawful vengeance upon the tracer. But no! let us leave him to the agony of a lacerated conscience (though if passion should get the better of the public, and in its blind fury they should do the tracer bodily injury, it is but too obvious that no jury could convict and no court punish the perpetrators of the deed).
The ingenious closing sentence had the effect of moving me out of bed with despatch that night, and out at the back door also, while the "outraged and insulted public" surged in the front way, breaking furniture and windows in their righteous indignation as they came, and taking off such property as they could carry when they went. And yet I can lay my hand upon the Book and say that I never slandered Mr. Blank's grandfather. More: I had never even heard of him or mentioned him up to that day and date.
[I will state, in passing, that the journal above quoted from always referred to me afterward as "Twain, the Body-Snatcher."]
The next newspaper article that attracted my attention was the following:
A SWEET CANDIDATE.--Mr. Mark Twain, who was to make such a blighting speech at the mass-meeting of the Independents last night, didn't come to time! A telegram from his physician stated that he had been knocked down by a runaway team, and his leg broken in two places--sufferer lying in great agony, and so forth, and so forth, and a lot more bosh of the same sort. And the Independents tried hard to swallow the wretched subterfuge, and pretend that they did not know what was the real reason of the absence of the abandoned creature whom they denominate their standard-bearer. A certain man was seen to reel into Mr. Twain's hotel last night in a state of beastly intoxication. It is the imperative ty of the Independents to prove that this besotted brute was not Mark Twain himself. We have them at last! This is a case that admits of no shirking. The voice of the people demands in thunder tones, "WHO WAS THAT MAN?"
It was incredible, absolutely incredible, for a moment, that it was really my name that was coupled with this disgraceful suspicion. Three long years had passed over my head since I had tasted ale, beer, wine or liquor or any kind.
[It shows what effect the times were having on me when I say that I saw myself, confidently bbed "Mr. Delirium Tremens Twain" in the next issue of that journal without a pang--notwithstanding I knew that with monotonous fidelity the paper would go on calling me so to the very end.]
By this time anonymous letters were getting to be an important part of my mail matter. This form was common
How about that old woman you kiked of your premises which
was beging. POL. PRY.
And this:
There is things which you Have done which is unbeknowens to anybody
but me. You better trot out a few dots, to yours truly, or you'll
hear through the papers from
HANDY ANDY.
This is about the idea. I could continue them till the reader was surfeited, if desirable.
Shortly the principal Republican journal "convicted" me of wholesale bribery, and the leading Democratic paper "nailed" an aggravated case of blackmailing to me.
[In this way I acquired two additional names: "Twain the Filthy Corruptionist" and "Twain the Loathsome Embracer."]
By this time there had grown to be such a clamor for an "answer" to all the dreadful charges that were laid to me that the editors and leaders of my party said it would be political ruin for me to remain silent any longer. As if to make their appeal the more imperative, the following appeared in one of the papers the very next day:
BEHOLD THE MAN!--The independent candidate still maintains silence. Because he dare not speak. Every accusation against him has been amply proved, and they have been indorsed and reindorsed by his own eloquent silence, till at this day he stands forever convicted. Look upon your candidate, Independents! Look upon the Infamous Perjurer! the Montana Thief! the Body-Snatcher! Contemplate your incarnate Delirium Tremens! your Filthy Corruptionist! your Loathsome Embracer! Gaze upon him--ponder him well--and then say if you can give your honest votes to a creature who has earned this dismal array of titles by hishideous crimes, and dares not open his mouth in denial of any one of them!
There was no possible way of getting out of it, and so, in deep humiliation, I set about preparing to "answer" a mass of baseless charges and mean and wicked falsehoods. But I never finished the task, for the very next morning a paper came out with a new horror, a fresh malignity, and seriously charged me with burning a lunatic asylum with all its inmates, because it obstructed the view from my house. This threw me into a sort of panic. Then came the charge of poisoning my uncle to get his property, with an imperative demand that the grave should be opened. This drove me to the verge of distraction. On top of this I was accused of employing toothless and incompetent old relatives to prepare the food for the foundling' hospital when I warden. I was wavering--wavering. And at last, as a e and fitting climax to the shameless persecution that party rancor had inflicted upon me, nine little toddling children, of all shades of color and degrees of raggedness, were taught to rush onto the platform at a public meeting, and clasp me around the legs and call me PA!
I gave it up. I hauled down my colors and surrendered. I was not equal to the requirements of a Gubernatorial campaign in the state of New York, and so I sent in my withdrawal from the candidacy, and in bitterness of spirit signed it, "Truly yours, once a decent man, but now
"MARK TWAIN, LP., M.T., B.S., D.T., F.C., and L.E."
-THE END-
中文翻譯：
幾個月之前，我被提名為紐約州州長候選人，代表獨立黨與斯坦華脫·勒·伍福特先生和約翰·特·霍夫曼先生競選。我總覺得自己有超過這兩位先生的顯著的優點，那就是我的名聲好。從報上容易看出：如果說這兩位先生也曾知道愛護名聲的好處，那是以往的事。近幾年來，他們顯然已將各種無恥罪行視為家常便飯。當時，我雖然對自己的長處暗自慶幸，但是一想到我自己的名字得和這些人的名字混在一起到處傳播，總有一股不安的混濁潛流在我愉快心情的深處“翻攪”。我心裡越來越不安，最後我給祖母寫了封信，把這件事告訴她。她很快給我回了信，而且信寫得很嚴峻，她說：“你生平沒有做過一件對不起人的事——一件也沒有做過。你看看報紙吧——一看就會明白伍福特和霍夫曼先生是一種什麼樣子的人，然後再看你願不願意把自己降低到他們那樣的水平，跟他們一起競選。”
這也正是我的想法!那晚我一夜沒合眼。但我畢竟不能打退堂鼓。我已經完全卷進去了，只好戰斗下去。
當我一邊吃早飯，一邊無精打采地翻閱報紙時，看到這樣一段消息，說實在話，我以前還從來沒有這樣驚慌失措過：
“偽證罪——那就是1863年，在交趾支那的瓦卡瓦克，有34名證人證明馬克·吐溫先生犯有偽證罪，企圖侵佔一小塊香蕉種植地，那是當地一位窮寡婦和她那群孤兒靠著活命的唯一資源。現在馬克·吐溫先生既然在眾人面前出來競選州長，那麼他或許可以屈尊解釋一下如下事情的經過。吐溫先生不管是對自己或是對要求投票選舉他的偉大人民，都有責任澄清此事的真相。他願意這樣做嗎?”
我當時驚愕不已!竟有這樣一種殘酷無情的指控。我從來就沒有到過交趾支那!我從來沒聽說過什麼瓦卡瓦克!我也不知道什麼香蕉種植地，正如我不知道什麼是袋鼠一樣!我不知道要怎麼辦才好，我簡直要發瘋了，卻又毫無辦法。那一天我什麼事情也沒做，就讓日子白白溜過去了。第二天早晨，這家報紙再沒說別的什麼，只有這么一句話：
“意味深長——大家都會注意到：吐溫先生對交趾支那偽證案一事一直發人深省地保持緘默。”
〔備忘——在這場競選運動中，這家報紙以後但凡提到我時，必稱“臭名昭著的偽證犯吐溫”。〕
接著是《新聞報》，登了這樣一段話：
“需要查清——是否請新州長候選人向急於等著要投他票的同胞們解釋一下以下一件小事?那就是吐溫先生在蒙大那州野營時，與他住在同一帳篷的夥伴經常丟失小東西，後來這些東西一件不少地都從吐溫先生身上或“箱子”(即他卷藏雜物的報紙)里發現了。大家為他著想，不得不對他進行友好的告誡，在他身上塗滿柏油，粘上羽毛，叫他坐木杠①，把他攆出去，並勸告他讓出鋪位，從此別再回來。他願意解釋這件事嗎?”
難道還有比這種控告用心更加險惡的嗎?我這輩子根本就沒有到過蒙大那州呀。
〔此後，這家報紙照例叫我做“蒙大那的小偷吐溫”。〕
於是，我開始變得一拿起報紙就有些提心吊膽起來，正如同你想睡覺時拿起一床毯子，可總是不放心，生怕那裡面有條蛇似的。有一天，我看到這么一段消息：
“謊言已被揭穿!——根據五方位區的密凱爾·奧弗拉納根先生、華脫街的吉特·彭斯先生和約翰·艾倫先生三位的宣誓證書，現已證實：馬克·吐溫先生曾惡毒聲稱我們尊貴的領袖約翰·特·霍夫曼的祖父曾因攔路搶劫而被處絞刑一說，純屬粗暴無理之謊言，毫無事實根據。他毀謗亡人，以讕言玷污其美名，用這種下流手段來達到政治上的成功，使有道德之人甚為沮喪。當我們想到這一卑劣謊言必然會使死者無辜的親友蒙受極大悲痛時，幾乎要被迫煽動起被傷害和被侮辱的公眾，立即對誹謗者施以非法的報復。但是我們不這樣!還是讓他去因受良心譴責而感到痛苦吧。(不過，如果公眾義憤填膺，盲目胡來，對誹謗者進行人身傷害，很明顯，陪審員不可能對此事件的兇手們定罪，法庭也不可能對他們加以懲罰。)”
最後這句巧妙的話很起作用，當天晚上當“被傷害和被侮辱的公眾”從前進來時，嚇得我趕緊從床上爬起來，從後門溜走。他們義憤填膺，來時搗毀傢具和門窗，走時把能拿動的財物統統帶走。然而，我可以手按《聖經》起誓：我從沒誹謗過霍夫曼州長的祖父。而且直到那天為止，我從沒聽人說起過他，我自己也沒提到過他。
〔順便說一句，刊登上述新聞的那家報紙此後總是稱我為“拐屍犯吐溫”。〕
引起我注意的下一篇報上的文章是下面這段：
“好個候選人——馬克·吐溫先生原定於昨晚獨立黨民眾大會上作一次損傷對方的演說，卻未履行其義務。他的醫生打電報來稱他被幾匹狂奔的拉車的馬撞倒，腿部兩處負傷——卧床不起，痛苦難言等等，以及許多諸如此類的廢話。獨立黨的黨員們只好竭力聽信這一拙劣的托詞，假裝不知道他們提名為候選人的這個放盪不羈的傢伙未曾出席大會的真正原因。
有人見到，昨晚有一個人喝得酩酊大醉，搖搖晃晃地走進吐溫先生下榻的旅館。獨立黨人責無旁貸須證明那個醉鬼並非馬克·吐溫本人。這一下我們終於把他們抓住了。此事不容避而不答。人民以雷鳴般的呼聲詢問：‘那人是誰?’”
我的名字真的與這個丟臉的嫌疑聯在一起，這是不可思議的，絕對地不可思議。我已經有整整三年沒有喝過啤酒、葡萄酒或任何一種酒了。
〔這家報紙在下一期上大膽地稱我為“酒瘋子吐溫先生”，而且我知道，它會一直這樣稱呼下去，但我當時看了竟毫無痛苦，足見這種局勢對我有多大的影響。〕
那時我所收到的郵件中，匿名信佔了重要的部分。那些信一般是這樣寫的：
“被你從你寓所門口一腳踢開的那個要飯的老婆婆，現在怎麼樣了?”
好管閑事者
也有這樣寫的：
“你乾的一些事，除我之外沒人知道，你最好拿出幾塊錢來孝敬鄙人，不然，報上有你好看的。”
惹不起
大致就是這類內容。如果還想聽，我可以繼續引用下去，直到使讀者惡心。
不久，共和黨的主要報紙“宣判”我犯了大規模的賄賂罪，而民主黨最主要的報紙則把一樁大肆渲染敲詐案件硬“栽”在我頭上。
〔這樣，我又得到了兩個頭銜：“骯臟的賄賂犯吐溫”和“令人惡心的訛詐犯吐溫”。〕
這時候輿論嘩然，紛紛要我“答復”所有對我提出的那些可怕的指控。這就使得我們黨的報刊主編和領袖們都說，我如果再沉默不語，我的政治生命就要給毀了。好像要使他們的控訴更為迫切似的，就在第二天，一家報紙登了這樣一段話：
“明察此人!獨立黨這位候選人至今默不吭聲。因為他不敢說話。對他的每條控告都有證據，並且那種足以說明問題的沉默一再承認了他的罪狀，現在他永遠翻不了案了。獨立黨的黨員們，看看你們這位候選人吧!看看這位聲名狼藉的偽證犯!這位蒙大那的小偷!這位拐屍犯!好好看一看你們這個具體化的酒瘋子!你們這位骯臟的賄賂犯!你們這位令人惡心的訛詐犯!你們盯住他好好看一看，好好想一想——這個傢伙犯下了這么可怕的罪行，得了這么一連串倒霉的稱號，而且一條也不敢予以否認，看你們是否還願意把自己公正的選票投給他!”
我無法擺脫這種困境，只得深懷恥辱，准備著手“答復”那一大堆毫無根據的指控和卑鄙下流的謊言。但是我始終沒有完成這個任務，因為就在第二天，有一家報紙登出一個新的恐怖案件，再次對我進行惡意中傷，說因一家瘋人院妨礙我家的人看風景，我就將這座瘋人院燒掉，把院里的病人統統燒死了，這使我萬分驚慌。接著又是一個控告，說我為了吞占我叔父的財產而將他毒死，並且要求立即挖開墳墓驗屍。這使我幾乎陷入了精神錯亂的境地。在這些控告之上，還有人竟控告我在負責育嬰堂事務時僱用老掉了牙的、昏庸的親戚給育嬰堂做飯。我拿不定主意了——真的拿不定主意了。最後，黨派斗爭的積怨對我的無恥迫害達到了自然而然的高潮：有人教唆9個剛剛在學走路的包括各種不同膚色、穿著各種各樣的破爛衣服的小孩，沖到一次民眾大會的講台上來，緊緊抱住我的雙腿，叫我做爸爸!
我放棄了競選。我降下旗幟投降。我不夠競選紐約州州長運動所要求的條件，所以，我呈遞上退出候選人的聲明，並懷著痛苦的心情簽上我的名字：
“你忠實的朋友，過去是正派人，現在卻成了偽證犯、小偷、拐屍犯、酒瘋子、賄賂犯和訛詐犯的馬克·吐溫。”
(1870年)
①坐木杠;這是當時美國的一種私刑。把認為犯有罪行的人綁住，身上塗上柏油，粘上羽毛，讓他跨坐在一根木棍上，抬著他遊街示眾。——譯注
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